I'm a Certified Life Coach and athlete, who loves to talk about personal development and work/life relationships. I help my clients embrace change with courage and determination. Subscribe to my newsletter to get helpful ways to improve mindset, and turn challenges into successes.
You can't enforce a boundary that doesn't exist
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Hey Reader, We’ve had a new houseguest for a week now . . a Guide Dog puppy we’re fostering. At 15 months she’s sweet, incredibly smart, and, it turns out, very good at testing boundaries. She came to us with some excellent training already in place. She knew where she was supposed to go, what she was supposed to do, and how to behave around people. But the problem wasn’t her training. It was ours. We didn’t yet know the rules clearly enough to stick to them consistently. So of course, she did what any clever, curious creature would do, she pushed. Can I get on the couch? She wasn’t being naughty, she was just exploring the edges of what was allowed. She was doing what we all do when the lines aren’t clear. And that’s the lesson this week. We can’t stick to boundaries we haven’t defined. Whether we’re talking about dogs, partners, clients, coworkers, or even our own inner critics, boundaries only work when:
That part can be uncomfortable, especially if you’ve spent a lifetime prioritizing other people’s comfort over your own. But just like our puppy, people adapt fast when the expectations are clear and fair. Every day now, things are smoother. She knows the rules. We know the rules. The whole house is calmer because we’re all working with something that makes sense. So if things feel a bit chaotic in your world, here’s a question to consider this week: What boundary have I not fully defined, communicated, or enforced . . and what would change if I did?If you’re ready for things to change, start there. One clear boundary at a time, one calm “no.”, or one brave conversation. You don’t need to overhaul your whole life. Just decide what matters, and honor it out loud. Change starts at the edges. That’s where you draw the line. |
Bethany Ward Life Coaching
I'm a Certified Life Coach and athlete, who loves to talk about personal development and work/life relationships. I help my clients embrace change with courage and determination. Subscribe to my newsletter to get helpful ways to improve mindset, and turn challenges into successes.
I came across a great little test by Ross McCammon called The Two Beers and a Puppy Test. The idea is when you’re thinking about someone in your life, ask yourself two questions: Would I want to have two beers with this person? Would I trust them to look after my puppy? If the answer to both is yes, you’ve got yourself someone to keep in your world. If it’s no to both, maybe that relationship belongs in a different category. This week I’m in New York with my best friend, someone who passes...
On Sunday, I did something I never thought I’d do . . a Spartan Deka event. It’s a strength event with 10 stations like rowing, sled pushes, burpees, farmer’s carries, box step-overs, and similar and the goal is to complete them as fast as you can. I never would have done it if not for my friend Karen. She asked me, encouraged me, asked me again, and challenged me into signing up with her as a team. Left to my own, I’d probably never have done it. But thanks to her encouragement and her not...
Hey Reader, A few weeks ago, I found out my position as an Executive Assistant with an International company was being made redundant. I definitely didn’t see it coming. But after the dust settled, I reminded myself of something I often say to my clients: focus on what you can control, not what you can’t. I couldn’t control the redundancy. But I could control my response. I could choose to panic and fall into a negative mental loop, or I could take the energy and move it into something...